March 20, 2012 8:59 pm

Red Flag #86: She’s never played on a sports team…

Maybe it was asthma that prevented you from hitting the field or your uber-hippie parents thought that team sports would stifle your creativity as an individual. Without one ounce of an apology, we’re here to tell you that if you’ve never been part of a team that included some type of ball, stick or cleat, that’s a red flag.

If you fall into this category, you should first understand that our biggest fear has nothing to do with your athletic ability. Playing sports is a rite of passage, and we worry that you may have missed some valuable lessons like: respect the competition, sacrifice for the good of the team, and never cry in the dugout. You may have never learned how to be humble in victory and gracious in defeat. You  might be unfamiliar with the camaraderie that develops between teammates. There’s a reason that most of our closest friends started out as teammates. The trust built through needing to work together to reach a common goal, not to mention all the time spent together at practice, leads to a stronger relationship than one typically develops with colleagues or classmates. There’s an inherent level of loyalty between teammates that you may be unable to identify with.

In addition to the valuable lessons you missed, we also assume you’ll be unlikely to participate in sports as an adult. While we’re not saying that we want you to be joining us at every golf outing, we would like you to join us for the occasional beach volleyball match or co-ed kickball outing.  It’s important that the women we date share common interests with us that don’t involve drinking, shopping, or sex. Those things are great (except shopping, which must be done in moderation), but they don’t make for a very fulfilling relationship if that’s all we can do together.

Beyond playing sports, there is watching sports. And if you’ve never played team sports, we are skeptical that you’ll ever be willing to watch a game with us since playing a sport is usually the starting point for becoming a fan. And, no matter how active and outgoing we are, occasionally we just like to sit on the couch and watch our favorite team duke it out against the bad guys. Having a girl by our side supporting our team is comforting and reassuring – especially if we can get head at halftime, consoling hugs if we lose, and sex if we win. That’s the fantasy, and the closer you come to being that dream girl, the closer you come to being our girlfriend and not just another girl we’ll be avoiding in two weeks.

You decide: how red is this flag?
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  • Kasiemay06

    I find it funny (as a woman that has played on several sports teams, and dated athletes) that this is a red flag, but “dated an athlete” is also listed. A bit conflicting, yes?

  • Nerdyguy

    This may be a “red flag” for some, but I don’t consider it to be one. I’m a nerdy guy who never played sports and never had an interest in sports. I personally don’t care if women watched sports or not. There are guys out there who don’t fit the stereotype of the sports fan with women playing the part of the “football widow”.

    I would suggest participating in activities that you enjoy and meeting guys who enjoy those activities, too, even if they don’t involve sports.

    There are guys like us who find nerdy women very attractive, so just keep looking.

  • Girl

    Funny, I learned all of those “qualities” from marching band but I don’t care for typical sports. A good woman will support her man’s interest, whatever they are, and I don’t have to watch the game with him to know when he wants some “half-time”. So your point is kind of, dumb. Find yourself a homeboy who likes sports, your woman can take care of the other stuff.

  • danielle

    I get the being about of a team. I loved playing sports in my schooling days. I feel a little more as I will always be army. The camaraderie one builds when getting blown up or shot at is much deeper… With that said that is a must for me. Someone that gets my frame of mind and understands what I am saying with one word. No huh or what are u saying. As for sports I will only watch if I am really at the game. If not you can go watch the game and have ur male bonding that is important. Ill go have my bonding time with the girls… Cuz at the end of Sunday night ill still be there

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