Red Flag #86: She’s never played on a sports team…

Maybe it was asthma that prevented you from hitting the field or your uber-hippie parents thought that team sports would stifle your creativity as an individual. Without one ounce of an apology, we’re here to tell you that if you’ve never been part of a team that included some type of ball, stick or cleat, that’s a red flag.

If you fall into this category, you should first understand that our biggest fear has nothing to do with your athletic ability. Playing sports is a rite of passage, and we worry that you may have missed some valuable lessons like: respect the competition, sacrifice for the good of the team, and never cry in the dugout. You may have never learned how to be humble in victory and gracious in defeat. You  might be unfamiliar with the camaraderie that develops between teammates. There’s a reason that most of our closest friends started out as teammates. The trust built through needing to work together to reach a common goal, not to mention all the time spent together at practice, leads to a stronger relationship than one typically develops with colleagues or classmates. There’s an inherent level of loyalty between teammates that you may be unable to identify with.

In addition to the valuable lessons you missed, we also assume you’ll be unlikely to participate in sports as an adult. While we’re not saying that we want you to be joining us at every golf outing, we would like you to join us for the occasional beach volleyball match or co-ed kickball outing.  It’s important that the women we date share common interests with us that don’t involve drinking, shopping, or sex. Those things are great (except shopping, which must be done in moderation), but they don’t make for a very fulfilling relationship if that’s all we can do together.

Beyond playing sports, there is watching sports. And if you’ve never played team sports, we are skeptical that you’ll ever be willing to watch a game with us since playing a sport is usually the starting point for becoming a fan. And, no matter how active and outgoing we are, occasionally we just like to sit on the couch and watch our favorite team duke it out against the bad guys. Having a girl by our side supporting our team is comforting and reassuring – especially if we can get head at halftime, consoling hugs if we lose, and sex if we win. That’s the fantasy, and the closer you come to being that dream girl, the closer you come to being our girlfriend and not just another girl we’ll be avoiding in two weeks.

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