Red Flag #61: She’s dated an athlete…

“I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I’m going to screw everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team.”  ~Anna Benson, wife of ex-MLB pitcher, Kris Bensonon The Howard Stern Show

As Tiger Woods can attest, there are millions of women out there who would readily date a man just because he’s an athlete. In fact, Tiger should be thankful that he knows how to golf, because otherwise he’d still be a virgin like most other socially awkward guys with bad haircuts.

Most guys shake their heads in disbelief when we hear stories about athletes crushing mad tail. Whatever happened to having to work for that tang? Dudes who rely on their status or their athletic accomplishments to get women are weak, that’s why we cringe when we hear that some women are still dumb enough to fall for a guy with nothing going for himself other than a fast forty time.

And “athlete”, by the way, doesn’t mean some dude who played JV basketball . We’re talking about the guy who puts steroids in his Wheaties, who lives in the gym year-round, and who wears sweatpants every day in college just because he can.  His idea of foreplay is dynamic stretching followed by synchronized jumping jacks and high knee sprints. He can hold a conversation as long as it’s about him or the sports game he just finished “totally fucking dominating. “

So beware of our preconceived notions about meat-head athletes before you drop us that line about how you dated a juco QB a few years ago.  We’ll instantly think you’re a cleat chasing ditz. Just because it’s sports-related doesn’t mean it’s information that we need to know.

If you decide that cleat chasing is your destiny, at least be aware of what your sport of choice says about you:

Still on the fence, take our Scumbags & Scandals Quiz to get to know more about the types of guys you’ll be dating on the cleat chasing circuit.

Match the athlete with his scandal and report your answers in the comments.

Highest score gets you a 100 Red Flags trapper-keeper as soon as they come off the production line.

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