Red Flag #55: She doesn’t have any good-looking friends…

We’re never thrilled when you ask us to join you for dinner with a couple of your girlfriends. But it’s a more tolerable evening if we can spend it imagining ourselves having threesomes with all of you.

Have a few cute women in your crew and we’re more likely to make a guest appearance on sushi night. Roll with a bunch of Shamus and Shreks, however, and you’ll be amazed how many of your happy hour invites coincide with evenings when we REALLY have to work late.

Why does it matter what your friends look like? We should only care about what you look like, right? Wrong. We know what’s going on here. Your lack of attractive friends is not by accident. You know you’ll be the one getting the attention at the bar. You know you’ll look hotter with ugly ducklings surrounding you as a backdrop.

But guess what?

We know that you’re insecure, jealous, and afraid of competition. And, that’s a red flag. We want you to surround yourself with kick ass, hot women who push you to improve yourself, not women who kiss your ass in hopes you’ll bump them up in the friend hierarchy.

Having hot friends also makes it much easier for you to win over our friends, which is important if you’d like to have a long term relationship with us. You want our friends in your corner. If a man considers breaking up with a girl who only has ugly friends, his buddies will usually give him a high five, buy him a beer, and get him a lap dance. If he’s leaving a girl whose friends are all ‘doable’, they’ll tell him he’s crazy for leaving her, he can’t do any better, and he’s making the biggest mistake of his life.

Our advice? Start collecting hot friends. To help you get started, here are the five types of cute friends every girl should have:

#1: The Sporty Girl. Good at co-ed volleyball, softball, and kickball. Knows the difference between a touchdown and home run.

#2: The Librarian. Petite, fair-skinned. Wears fashionable glasses. Decent at trivia. Borderline hipster, but without the pretentiousness.

#3: The Joker. Funny, for a girl. Takes no offense to guy humor.

#4: The Make Out Slut. Party girl. Sexy dancer. Makes out with EVERYONE in your boyfriend’s circle of friends.

#5: The Soccer Mom. Brings baked goods to every party. Takes care of our drunk friends. Restocks the fridge and cleans the counter while everyone else is partying.

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