Red Flag #37: She owns granny panties…

“I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they’re silk panties, maybe it’s a thong. Maybe it’s something really cool that I don’t even know about.”  ~ Frank the Tank

Most women scoff at this red flag and complain that guys don’t know what it’s like to wear women’s underwear. “It’s uncomfortable”, they say. You know what I think of that? It’s all about conditioning, and for some reason you’re resistant to letting evolution take its course. If you still wear underwear that looks as if you’re hiding something from us, that’s a red flag.

Quite honestly, a guy will never say anything about your grandma panties as long as they come off quickly and you prove your prowess in the bedroom. But if you’re taking your time rounding the bases, a poor choice of underwear can lead him to think that the touch and feel of loose-fitting cotton really will be the fabric of your life.

Given the other things you do to look sexy, wearing less-than-comfortable underwear really isn’t that bad. For instance, you allow needles to poke holes in your ears, nose, and sometimes even your naughty spots. You apply paint to your face every day. You put things inside of you in order to prevent nature from making a mess. You wear outfits that restrict your natural movement.

Is wearing smaller, tighter-fitting underwear really worth avoiding?

Your rationalization becomes even weaker when considering the advances in modern-day technology that allow for the manufacturing of more comfortable, better-looking underwear. Just as many men you know have adopted boxer briefs to protect against having something slap at our legs every time we walk at a brisk pace, women have countless options for underwear that is sexy, yet comfortable.

We’d really like to bring an end to the Elephant Undie Epedemic, so here a few tips to get you on your way. We know you’ll get more tips (ahem) if you follow our advice.

Hanky Panky – Cheap, sexy, comfortable, and we’ve been told they also flatten your stomach. Replacing your boring bottoms with some of their sexy boy shorts could easily lower this red flag.

Color, design, and lace – If you’re going for comfort, spice it up with some color, a design, or some lace. There’s absolutely no reason to have any off-white or skin-colored panties in your drawer. Do yourself a favor and throw these out immediately.

Going Commando – If this is unrealistic, we don’t care. You should definitely try it. , and if you live in Chicago please leave a comment below so we can personally contact you.

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