Red Flag #20: She has a VIZIO…

VIZIO brings in two billion in annual revenue as one of the world’s largest sellers of LCD televisions. But do you know where most of this revenue comes from? Hordes of desperate women. 

The typical VIZIO girl buys a flat screen for the same reason a metrosexual buys his first pair of premium skinny jeans – to impress the opposite sex.  A VIZIO vixen could care less if her TV quality is on par with an Etch-A-Sketch. She bought it so she can say she has a flat screen.

Her expectation is that we’ll be impressed with the fact that she’s now in the flat screen game. However, most men will look at the VIZIO with disgust. We’d rather walk into a girl’s apartment and discover a 17-inch tube television sitting on cinder blocks. At least the girl with the outdated tube TV isn’t hiding the fact that she doesn’t care about watching action movies or sports or any other type of programming that guys like. We know exactly where she stands. The TV is for the news and the occasional romantic comedy. Nothing else.

Little Miss VIZIO, on the other hand, is trying to be something she’s not. She is hoping we think she’s down to watch shows like Planet Earth HD and NFL Sunday Ticket; but in reality, we know she’ll soon be complaining that we watch too much sports and she’ll be begging for control of the remote so she can turn the TV off. She didn’t buy the Vizio to watch it with us, she bought it so she could trick us into thinking she’s a fellow TV aficionado.

Thus, most men view VIZIO women as being desperate and under-handed tricksters. We’ll even tend to stick a few more labels on VIZIO girls just for good measure:

She’s Lazy –  A simple online search for flat screen TVs would have immediately given you several higher quality, comparably priced options.

She’s Naïve – Did you really think you’d be able to fool us into thinking that your are into action movies and sports?

She Has Daddy Issues – Most dads take pride in the quality of their TVs and make it abundantly clear to their kids that they are prized possessions. Any woman with a strong relationship with her father certainly would have learned this important lesson. Hell, she probably would have bought a higher-quality TV just to make Dad happy when he visited.

So VIZIO vixens: what should you do now that you’ve learned your TV is more of a liability than an asset? We suggest two eBay transactions. One to sell the VIZIO, and the other to sell the vibrator. Trust us, once the VIZIO is gone, you won’t be needing the vibrator.

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