December 12, 2011 12:07 pm

Red Flag #49: She still believes in Weapons of Mass Destruction…

Red Flag #49: She still believes in Weapons of Mass Destruction...

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee…Uh, I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee…that says, fool me once, shame on…shame on you. Fool me…you…you can’t get fooled again.” ~ George W. Bush

For most of us, the pure mention of weapons of mass destruction brings a chuckle, as if you said “fart” or “poopy”. It almost doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth after that – we’re still thinking about how you just said poopy.

The whole Weapons of Mass Destruction thing was classic. An unbelievable construction of words and images that were strategically linked to a catastrophic event in American history, so that we could unite behind chants of “America, Fuck Yeah!” and send our boys on a 12 trillion dollar treasure hunt to find nukes hidden by the Axis of Evil. Where ‘da gold at?

While most women accept that the idea of WMDs was just propaganda to coerce us into supporting a vindictive war, others somehow hold on to this as a defense for going to war.  I mean, if anything even close to remotely resembling nuclear weapons facilities existed in Iraq, our military would have quickly ordered the troops to “sprinkle some crack on it” and turn it into a bona fide WMD facility, don’t you think?

As you know from our previous post on changing your sports team allegiance, a lack of loyalty or deep-rooted belief in certain things sends guys a message that you don’t have the depth or conviction we need in order to be fully satisfied in a relationship. But what if you have too much belief in something? And what if that something happens to be a figment of your imagination?

Well, besides the fact that you’re clearly insane, there are a lot of other things for us to be worried about. For example, do you know how stressful it’s going to be when we’re financially strapped and your solution is to knock out our teeth in order to get some extra spending cash from the Tooth Fairy? Will you waste hours upon hours in search for a basket of sugary Peeps from the Easter Bunny? And do you seriously think we’re going to have enough shelf space for all those problem-solving Shake Weights, Sham-Wows, Slap-Chops, and Snuggies?

You decide: how red is this flag?
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  • Mullica Shales

    Holy crap, is there any place on the internet where you can escape people who, for some reason, view it as their mission in life to post either Bush-hating or anti-Obama conspiracy garbage everywhere they possibly can.

  • Jaime

    Red flag #1 for guys… You write a blog. And not even a good one.

  • Jaime

    Red flag #2 for guys. You pee sitting down. And write a pathetic blog. And you’re likely single.

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